Fear



from 9/11

Fear is something this day is associated with alot.  For the first time in a long time, our nation felt unsafe.  Unsecure.  We all felt fear in our hearts this day 11 years ago. 

But we, as a nation, overcame.

Fear is what I've been feeling lately.  A lot.  Being on our last week of unemployment and now going into having an extension of benefits, its scary.  I have been afraid for a long time now.  Afraid we won't be able to pay our bills.  That we won't be able to stay here in the hometown both me and Damon both grew up in.  That we'll be so far away from family if we have to move we'll only see one another a couple times a year. 

Fear of the unknown.

I have to hold it together though..for the sake of my precious little girl.  She doesn't know whats going on right now (thank God)..she's too little to understand.  Her only worries are that of getting her strawberry milk and how much playtime she can squeeze in before naptime and bedtime.  If only life were that simple...

God told us that life wouldn't be easy and that we'd go through trials.  But I'm reminded that after every storm..there is a rainbow.  If not a rainbow..there is light.  The storm eventually ends.  It may last longer than we thought in the beginning, but all storms comes to an end.  Sometimes seeing God when your in the storm is hard.  The wind and the rain can make him seem like he's not there..because our vision gets distracted/distorted from the storms fierceness.  But in reality..he's right there beside us.  He never wavers.  He is always there.  He never moves.  



So as I await for my 'rainbow' to come..I pray.  I pray that God's will is done.  I pray for others..because thats what we as Christians are to do.  I pray for myself.  I pray for the sick and the lost.  I pray for my loved ones.  Prayer is the one thing right now that nobody can take from me.  It can't be 'unemployed'..because it is my right as a Christian. 

And God is my hope and strength as I endure this storm of life just a little bit longer...