Saturday, June 23, 2012

Letting Go and Understanding Friendships

Linkybuttoncopycopy I know this post is late...ok VERY late..but the night I tried to do a post on friendships nothing seemed to be on my mind about it.  Today as I was cleaning like a mad woman I was thinking of my dear blogger friend Callie and all kinds of thoughts started pouring into my head about friendships and how some I've had in the past have ended..things thats happened throughout the years to me with 'friends'..etc..etc. know where this is going..I'm going to talk a little about how I've let go of past friendships and things that sometimes happen in friendships..maybe some tips thrown into the mix. 

I hope this makes sense to someone out there....

I truely didn't know what a true friend could be until I met my BFF (which I talked about here).  Before her..I had friendships.  In high school.  In grade school.  College.  But none really stuck.  Not like it did with Wendy.  Here is why...

Some were unequally yolked.  Yes..I said it.  And yes..thats from the Bible.  Most people use that scripture to pertain to their future mate.  I think it goes along with friendships as well..mainly because I've lived it.  I've had friendships with people who weren't Christian (now don't send me hate mail..I'm not saying you can't BE friends with someone of a different faith than you or who doesn't believe like you!) and in the end..toes got stepped on..feelings were hurt in one way or another. Bottom line..I wasn't treated in the same way I felt like a real friend should be.  And the biggest thing is that I felt like I couldn't share my faith with them.  Sure..I'd talk about it..but it wasn't something we could bond over, you know?  And if you can't share your passion you have for God..thats a big chunk left out of the whole experience of getting to know me (or you)..isn't it?  If you can't love me (be friends with me) for ALL of don't really love me (want to be friends with me) at all.  Just my opinion there...

My way or the highway.  That just doesn't work.  In ANY relationship whether its romance or friendship.  One person can't have their way all the time and think that its going to be fine and dandy.  I was in a friendshp with a girl like that.  It didn't work out and ended badly. 

Time.  This is something we all struggle with.  We either have jobs that keeps us busy.  Or are married.  Or have kids.  Or both.  But the most important thing is that we make time for our friends.  Sometimes its hard..but its necessary if we expect to keep a friendship alive.  Just like a plant needs water to thrive..a friendship needs time spent together (whether its emailing, phone chatting, texting, going out for coffee..playdates..etc). 

Sometimes in the end..letting go of a friendship is what needs to be done.  It might not be what we want to do (or have happen to us)..but sometimes it comes as a relief.  It can be hard to hang onto a friendship that just doesn't work.  Where one (or both) parties just dreads communicating.  You know its time for it to end then.  Sometimes even (as it was with a case I've been through)'ve just had enough of the way you've  been treated over the have to put a stop to it because its become so toxic to you its just unbearable to go on. 

When friends with people..please respect them above all else.  Respect their time (or lack of!)..respect them as human beings (don't treat them poorly)..respect their schedules. 

Sometimes friendships can be hard to understand..but if you go about one in the right'll work out.  :-)



  1. This is a really good post, Melanie, and I think all the points you've made are so true. I know I tend to hold on to friendships too long after its clear that they aren't working, and sometimes I just need to let go ... Especially when it's clear the other person hasn't tried as hard on the friendship as me. Thanks for linking up! I've really been enjoying reading your thoughts on friendship so far - I think you have so much good wisdom to share! :-)

  2. This was a great post melanie and I am in total agreement with you on each topic you covered here.

    Thank you for sharing this with us! Love ya!


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