Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Letting go..letting God..and rejoicing!

So the past couple of days have been full of thier ups and downs.  Damon got a weekend off..finally!  First since Labor Day weekend in fact..and it was long overdue!  He started a new job in the coal mines shortly after the holiday weekend and he's needed the rest I can tell.  We had a great time out friday..shopping and eating out and buying cute clothes for Makayla.  Its so hard to not come back with something for her every time we're out.  Little girls clothes are so adorable!!  Saturday was spent visiting with family (my parents and Damons mom)..Makayla enjoyed seeing both grandma's and her grandpa.  :-) 

Then saturday night came.  We were relaxing..I got the laptop out and got on facebook.  I had an email from a friend..and she mentioned a post that was on my facebook page from my stepdaughter.  I didn't know what she was talking about cause I hadn't seen it yet.  So I went over and checked it out. 


I felt like I was basically told I was a bad parent because I let Makayla watch saturday morning cartoons.  I made a post earlier that morning that I'd fixed french toast and turkey sausage for us that morning and Makayla was watching cartoons and that she loves tv.  Maybe I read too much into what she said.  She didnt actually use the words 'your a bad parent'..but to me she might as well should have.  She kept talking about how I should be reading to her and how she knows so much on the subject because she is taking a bunch of classes in college on kids and the like (I dont remember exactly what they were called).  She's trying to become a teacher.  I do read to her..sing to her..play with her..and do alot of things with her and yeah we watch tv too.  Anyways..my feelings were hurt BAD.  So bad that I was seeing red.

Uh oh.

Not good.  I had to calm myself.  But I knew I needed to address her directly..because I wasn't going to let my stepdaughter continue to tell me how to raise MY child in the future.  I know she means well..and I told her so..but told her how it made me feel, etc, etc.  She sent me 3 emails afterwards..count them..3.  The first 2 I could tell was wrote off of emotion.  The last she waited an hour after the first 2 were sent and she was calmer.  She was probably regretting some things she'd said in the first two. 

We've wrote again and its really not much better.  Damon knows how upset I was initially..but really didn't have much to say about it.  That didn't help a whole lot.  If there is anyone you want to have your back..its your hubby.  I kinda felt left in the dust. 

So instead of trying to respond back to her (there's really not much I can say to her right now..I'm not mad anymore and I thank God for that)..I'm letting God handle it.  I did alot of praying over the weekend about the whole thing and each email I've sent I've consulted God in beforehand.  Anyone knows that when you type anything online and send it..its sent.  Done.  Once you write words you can't take them back.  God can handle this better than I ever could.  So I'm faithfully leaving it to Him.

What a weight is lifted off of us when we give things over to God!!  God never intended for us to carry burdens and loads..He wants us to give it all to Him.  After all..He is God! 

So..I'm not only rejoicing because I know God is taking care of this for me..but also there is a huge blessing lying right in front of me right now.  What..you might ask?  My best friend in the whole wide world is coming in for a visit this week!!!  We haven't seen each other in over 3 years now and its long overdue.  She lives a state away but its quite a drive..so seeing each other often isn't in the cards.  But since I've had a baby this year..we agreed another visit was in order!  I'm so excited and so happy to show off my little girl to my BFF and to spend some quality time with another sister in Christ. I don't have many friends here where I live..so having her in for a few days is really extra special.  She means alot to me and has been there for me for so many years.  We've known each other for 12 years now and we have an amazing friendship.  One I treasure dearly. 

If you don't hear from me much this week..well what am I saying..I've not exactly been the best blogger since I've had Makayla!  But if you don't hear from me much in the next few days I'm enjoying time with a very dear friend! 

A few prayers about my other situation would be most appreciated as well.  I care about my stepdaughter and don't like it when we have disagreements.


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