You'll have to excuse me..I'm feeling a little down tonight. I had planned on posting about my project I've been working on the past couple weeks..but as I was downloading pics from my camera onto my computer, I came across this picture.....
You might see now why I'm feeling a little down tonight. When I took this picture..I had hoped to share such joyful news with my fellow bloggers of our blessed news..only for things to change so quickly after that test was originally taken. At the time..everything seemed to go by so slowly..from first dr appointment, to ER visit, to dr appointment. Looking back now, just a few short weeks later, it all seemed like it went by very fast.
I'm the type of person (usually) when something happens, it takes a little while for it to really "hit" me. I guess tonight must of been the night God wanted me to really let out the hurt I felt surrounding the past few weeks. Though I do know that it wasn't God's timing for us right now to have a child, it still doesn't make it easier. I think I'll remember that April "should have" been my due month. I know I have to trust in God now too..to know that His timing is the perfect timing and that He ultimately knows what is best. Sometimes I think maybe all of this was a test..seeing as how basically all my life until this past December..I thought I'd never want a child of my own. It did show me something..that this IS something I do want..and I'm 100% sure of it now. I need to deal with this now..so I can look forward to the future and what God has in store for us. Be praying for me..no matter how strong I may seem at times..deep down..the hurt is there.
1 day ago